street scene in kathmandu

street scene in kathmandu

Friday 8 May 2009

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2 comments:

  1. Gracias por contestar, Maureen.
    Es posible que el año que viene volvamos a organizar otra lectura sobre el MANIFIESTO POR LA SOLIDARIDAD. Espero conocerte para entonces.
    Lo importante es que estemos unidos para hacer posible un mundo mejor.
    Un fuerte abrazo!

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  2. Mare Paap, pale punya
    “It’s a sin if kills, charity if nurtured”
    In Nepal marriage is an important event in a women’s life, as it determines her position in life. A woman derives her full identity only after marriage. The girls are seen as somebody else’s wealth, therefore any investment in a daughter in terms of education, self development etc. is considered futile. From the time they are young children, they are expected to be hard working, meek, obedient, soft spoken and self sacrificing. Virginity of the bride and lifelong fidelity towards the husband are highly prized social values. Thus the parents need to protect their daughters till their marriage.
    The most sacred form of marriage in Nepal is ‘kanyadan’, "the gift of a virgin (daughter)." When a man's daughter comes close to puberty, he begins the search for a husband for her. It is his responsibility to take the initiative; grooms' families bide their time, waiting for offers. The idea behind ‘kanyadan’ is that a virgin is the best gift a man will ever have to give; he seeks to give this precious gift, therefore, to a worthy recipient. He likens this gift to a gift to the god; "My daughter's husband is Vishnu (protector god) to me." The recipient must be a member of his own caste, but preferably someone of a slightly higher status than his own.
    At the time of ‘kanyadan’, the parents of bride place their daughter’s right hand in the hand of the groom and ask the groom to be with her always in Dharma (the religious and moral matters), Artha (the wealth and financial matters), Kama (the earthly pleasures) and Moksha (the eternal life).The groom also vows that he will be with her in the above four things. Then the father declares to the assemblage that he, on this day and hour, of his own free will and that of the bride, hereby hands over his daughter.
    There is a superstitious belief that giving of ‘kanyadan’ - or giving their virgin daughter to the husband’s family - not only increases and ensures the parents’ prestige, but it is also believed to purify them of sin and remove danger. The greatest danger comes if a daughter remains in her father’s house after she has begun to menstruate. Neighbours gossip and wonder if there is something wrong with the daughter. Since the groom releases the bride’s parents from sin and danger by accepting (marrying) their daughter, the bride’s parents tolerate it silently if the groom and his parents mistreat their daughter for the rest of her life!
    Mare paap, pale punya (“It’s a sin if the groom kills the bride, but charity if she is nurtured”) This is what the bride’s parents say to the groom and his parents at the final farewell! The parents of the bride give a sendoff to their daughter by blessing her with tears!
    The younger generations of today have started talking openly about love marriages. With the reflection of western culture in the form of modernization, education and exposure to different media, the trend of love marriages is emerging in urban areas in the country. The majority of youths are concerned with their personal wishes rather than their parents’ choice in the case of marriage. I am sure when today’s youths become parents, they will be the ones to give full privileges to their children in choosing a love marriage and the four syllable Nepali proverb will disappear for ever and ever! Sunil Bajracharya

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